An Arsonist at Heart



“I don’t really get angry”

I have heard this line repeated by numerous voices and paradoxically; it pisses me off.

Why do we deny anger?

The pseudo spiritual diatribe of accepting life as ‘part of the journey’ is helpful when your car breaks down or if your soy latte turns out to be dairy. Passive acceptance however is redundant when applied to the intolerable aspects of the human race and a great way to sedate oneself into complacency. There are things in this world that should not be tolerated, accepted or adhered to; enter my old mate Anger.

Name: Anger

Relationship Status: individual or collective (bisexual)

About Me: I am a fire sign with a passion for burning away old paradigms and transforming physical, emotional and spiritual landscapes to charred ash. I also love Thai food.

Searching For: I am looking for someone to direct me in a way that creates enormous change and benefit for myself and this world. I love to travel. I have a beagle called ‘Norm’.

If you do not yet have a relationship with anger, it is time to arrange a date with your inner fire. The time has come to pop the virginal recesses of your rage; your wrath awaits madam.

Utilising the fire inherent in anger is the most potent way to enact lasting change and to clear away the debris of old patterns, bullshit stories and repeated, limiting experiences. You could try doing it with loving kindness and compassion yes, but that would take around twenty years of meditation, mantras, goji berries, hand stands, tapping on your forehead, chanting and turmeric tea.

I prefer my life journey to be fast and furious.

A friend of mine was recently involved with someone who over a period of time had been increasingly disrespectful, I watched her move through a series of stages-

1. The making sense of what had happened stage.

2. The internalising the experience as being her fault stage

3. The working to understand his actions and hold compassion for him stage.

This is great reflective practice, gold star material, but as she gestated in the waters of understanding and compassion for too long, she also extinguished the plume of anger that would activate her boundaries, levels of tolerance and shake up patterns of unhealthy relating.

My inner fire screamed out on her behalf


When in balance, rage/ anger is not necessarily about targeting another ** it is drawing a line in the red sand, staking claim on what you will and won’t tolerate. It is about taking responsibility for your life, for what happens to you and for what happens on this planet.

Sometimes I feel violent and I want to kill.

I rage at many things; the destruction of the natural world, the oppression/ suppression of the feminine, sexual shame, greed, cruelty, mediocrity, my latte being dairy. ***

My rage activates and propels me to do something; to ENACT. This could be taking a sword to something within me that inhibits my freedom and wholeness or standing in collective protest on the streets before an authority that I cannot accept. It can be a ‘fuck no’ to someone or something that is not good for me, that crosses my threshold. This energy of fire is channelled, deliberately directed into igniting change.

As women (and female bodied persons) our collective ferocity is long overdue; too long have we simmered in our historic wounds, silent, accepting, tolerating, frozen. I once saw an illustration of a woman standing before lines of armed soldiers who were stopped still by her raging cries of ‘NO!!!!’


There is compassion in anger; there is deep love in rage. It is the battle cry of inexcusable and intolerable acts in this world, rousing us from our complacent slumbering.

It is also the fiery key to powerful inner transformation.

Make room in your dating repertoire for anger, your inner flame. Like wildfire, it will no doubt spill out at times onto others, and that is ok. We are apprentice magicians of fire, we need continued practice in wielding this potent force, but wield it we must.

Matches anyone??

Winter Jade Icely