You are not getting out of this alive.
“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”
As my fellow readers might already know, I am in the throes of my midlife transit which feels something like this;
The Bone Collector
I have been summoning the spirit of death recently. She has appeared to me in many forms; the dark goddess of the crossroads Hecate shrieking from my voice box, roadkill lifeless on the side of the road and a primal urge to massacre parts of my being that are controlling and afraid.
I want more bloodshed.
The anal mysteries
I am traversing the ominous midlife stage of my soul’s journey- the hazardous 42. This midpoint of the lifespan can be described through the following analogies;
1. Imagine yourself standing in a public space and a person wearing a t-shirt that says ‘I call bullshit’ approaches you and tears at all your clothes leaving you naked and shivering amongst hoards of clothed people.
God is a sex witch
In this episode of Authentic Sex Juliet speaks with sex witch Winter Jade Icely. This episode explores the sacred mysteries of anal sex and reveals that anal love making is the doorway to our deepest vulnerability and deepest power. Winter explains that anal sex is dirty, filthy and hot, however once we let that part have its way, we can experience anal love making as a deep prayer between two souls coming together. This podcast episode is full of amazing insights and wisdom and for anyone wanting to expand their understanding of anal exploration and anal love making.
Memoirs of my heart
In this episode of Authentic Sex Juliet invites Sex Witch, Winter Jade Icely, back on the show to talk about the idea of sexuality as God, the dark erotic, the dark feminine, the idea of sex being deeply sacred and deeply magic. This episode is full of deep wisdom about sex and the darker energies that exist within us as women and men. There’s so much to learn from Winter, this episode is a must listen for everyone.
Roots and All..
I have been journeying the past two years into territory that never before have i traversed.
I have scaled impenetrable cliffs, meandered through the most luscious forests, trekked the harshest deserts parched and trembling. I have encountered mirages, fairies, trolls and shadows that follow my every step. I have been christened by waterfalls and dragged into the depths of the wild seas by powerful tides whose surges demand my surrender.
I choose to live.
A few days ago I woke up with the crusty remains of black vomit splattered across my white dress..
It was ‘spiritual vomit’; you could say I was officially christened by the divine mother.
I should have bottled the remaining amount really now I think about it- I could have anointed objects around my house to make them more ‘spiritual’, like my vacuum cleaner or clothes horse.
Dear people, I am no longer a plant medicine virgin for I have purged out of every orifice the mighty dark mother, Ayahuasca.
Up until recently I thought I was alive.
It was a lie waiting to be unwrapped. A fraudulent gift from the universe delivered in the form of relationships and circumstances.
My life so far has been mostly half lived, unbeknown to me.
I thought I was rocking this life thing.
I want to get rooted.
We have officially entered a time of tremendous change as the earth’s Kundalini shifts from the Himalayas to the Andes, a move away from asceticism and monotheism to unity-consciousness and symbioism.
We are also transitioning from the age of Pisces to Aquarius which signals a new paradigm of collective consciousness.
I for one cannot wait.
Bring on evolution.
A Letter to Men
I want to discuss a topic that is close to my heart, or my ass for that matter - my passion for the base. Firstly, let's put aside the physical pleasure and expansion that can come from opening the anus to penetration and talk about the emotional and spiritual significance of this part of the body and why it is essential for our wholeness.
Teachings From Beyond The Veils
I want to talk about a topic that is close to my heart and one that activates some of my work in the world.
The gender and sexual conditioning of men and male bodied people.
I live in a country that is machoistic. I grew up in a culture where boys are brought up to accentuate their masculinity and minimise (or deny) their femininity. In Australia, even to suggest a ‘man’ has feminine traits is a grave insult to his character and one that could be unsafe for him.
Archetypes have been surfacing within our collective culture for thousands of years. The origins of archetypal theorem trace back to Plato who deciphered them as mental forms imprinted in the soul. Jung described archetypes as universal patterns and images found within our collective unconscious. These images have emerged through mythologies, religions, legends and for me, through direct transmissions.
Sexually Empowered Woman
When I was in my twenties I remember reading an incredible book called Midwifing Death by Leslene Della Madre and it literally transformed my life. Reading about cultures that existed on this earth that revered and honoured the sacred feminine in women, of the earth and in cosmology; my cellular memory ignited.
An Inner Quest
What is a sexually empowered woman?
Facilitating workshops on sexuality I have often encountered projections of my own sexual life; assumptions of raging promiscuity, orgies or boundary-less engagements. These projections are somewhat inaccurate and although I have explored many frontiers of sexual expression, I have also had many years of little sexual engagement with others.
Being empowered sexually does not necessarily equate to having lots of sex or multiple partners, in fact a sexually empowered woman may not even have sex or be engaging others.
My Hungry Vagina
I have just emerged from a three-day vision quest upon ancient lands buffered by wild rainforests and rugged ravines. The three days involved fasting and silence. When the distractions of media, food and connection can no longer satiate the self, we then meet what lies beneath. For me it was a feeling of loneliness, a hum that has been pulsing in the background for most of my life. Many of us feel alone, mine comes from an innate feeling of being separate from the wholeness of source. The vastness of the eternal often feels unreachable to me in my mere human form. I sat with the discomfort of loneliness for days and watched the fears that arose from the archipelago of isolation.
Mother or Whore?
I am fascinated with the archetype of the temptress, she has been alive in my psyche from a young age. I have been shining a light on her dark aspects that exist within me recently and noticing how I can activate her seductress powers to attract and enact my desires, sometimes consciously and often unconsciously. She often shows up as ‘my hungry vagina’, eager to devour. She is the sweet purring and soft scented perfume of my longing, she is the lubricated pinkness that conceals the dark calling of my womb and my insatiable appetite to be fucked. When my temptress is in the light, she is a gift to those around her, she is playful and exudes charm and sexual magnetism, when she lurks in the shadow of my unconscious, she can become a sexual predator, fuelled by a hunger that is felt but unseen.
Paying to Connect
The church of Saint Sulpice is the beginning of the Roseline, a meridian that runs from Paris to the south of France. St Sulpice is the first sacred site marking the Magdalene mysteries, a cathedral built around a womb. The womb represents the birthing portal of life and our eventual return through the uterine waters to physical death. The Magdalene mysteries document Mary Magdalene’s arrival to these foreign lands with her children after the death of Jesus, her beloved.
The heart of this church holds a statue of Mother Mary standing on a dead snake, the symbol of the devil. In Christian mythology the snake is Lilith, the dark feminine. I first encountered this statue in Ireland last year and it is a significant image highlighting the deep schism between the light and dark feminine in Christianity.
Clawing my way back to Eden
This week a sister and I held a joint sensual bodywork session with a male client. Prior to commencing I invited him to share what he desired to feel and experience, he replied he was looking for connection. During the session he told us that he had not been touched for some time, repeating “it’s been so long” over and over. As I felt into his body my heart ached, I could feel his yearning for touch and connection, and I felt the imprint of it’s long absence. During the session he was wild- eyed, almost in shock that two women were touching him. holding him, loving him. He told us afterwards that it was one of the most incredible experiences he has ever had.
It was a thirty minute session.
Ceasefire. Treaty. Truth
This full moon has brought many insights into my waking world, themes around acknowledging and embracing my desires, even those that seem ‘unpalatable’.
I have recently returned from a week’s training in Spiritual, Sexual, Shamanic Initiation (ISTA) during which I met a powerful energy in my shadow- that of the temptress, seductress, whore. I have journeyed with the archetype/goddess Lilith for many years, feeling her resonance, her anguish and rage. She is deeply embedded within my personal and transpersonal experience of life and has birthed many projects and visions (including Sex Witch). During the week’s immersion I saw clearly that I had (consciously /unconsciously) cast her sexual expression to the cobwebbed corners of my psyche. During the week I felt her intensely snaking up my spine, her claws around my neck, hissing in my ear.
As we approach the longest night of year, the Winter Solstice, and my fortieth year circumnavigating the sun, I have been journeying with themes of armistice, of laying down my sword and surrendering my combat with this world.
I came in fighting. Kicking and screaming with the obstetrician and his forceps. Landing in this world as a child I felt the wounds of patriarchy in my body, I felt the ancestral abuse of my female lineage as if they were my own. I had no understanding or context as a child to what I was feeling, I know it now to be the pain and suffering of women, of my ancestors and on a deeper level the oppression and denial of the goddess, of the divine feminine.